How and Why to Improve Your Communication Skills

Oct
29

Recently, a prospect contacted me through my blog submitting a set of very interesting questions. I got particularly interested in them because it wasn’t too long ago, about 3 years that I was asking these very same questions.

One of the questions that this prospect had was “What would you recommend for improving communication skills?” he also asked: “Do you know of any good online programs or courses?”

When I first came to America and got started with network marketing improving my communication skills was a huge objective for me, in fact it was the biggest objective I had.

I was doing cold calling, chasing prospects all over the place and I did not feel confident in the way I communicated what I wanted to communicate, thus my results were very poor.

I had a great understanding however of the importance of possessing these skills in business and in life and I was willing to do anything to help me improve my communication and connecting skills.

I was really glad that this prospect approached me with these particular questions, not only because I had them at one point myself, and not only because this is a good sign of his understanding of the importance of finding the answers to these questions, but also because I overcame my challenges and I had a solution to suggest to him.

You see, when I got started in network marketing I began to learn that education and investment in myself is very important to improving any skill, whether that was communication skills, listening skills (which is actually a part of good communication skills), or any other skill.

My mom always told me if I wanted to be able to write or express myself whether verbally or on paper I had to read more books.

So, I began reading a lot of books. In fact, just recently my dad made a comment about me reading books, after a brief chat I had with him over Skype. He asked me what am I doing, and I responded, “reading a book”. He said “Wow, once upon a time it was impossible to make you pick up a book, now you are reading them all the time” I said” I guess there is time for everything, especially when you understand the importance it could have on your life”.

And there is certainly time for reading books when you want to develop your leadership and communication skills. But it doesn’t stop there.

I also, started to listen to a lot of CDs of inspirational and motivational speakers – people who were proving right there on the CD to have the best communication skills in the world. I started observing and picking up from them quite a bit of new things. Words they were using, intonations that they were using, how they were projecting their voice.

But the time when I started to see fast changes was when I began working closely with Mike Klingler, who became my personal coach. What I noticed immediately was that my skills started to develop much faster when I had someone who cared giving me direct tips and advice to me as an individual. Mike would give me feedback after a call to a prospect or client I made, that was directly related to the things he observed about my communication skills. He would comment on an article I had posted on my blog directly related to my writing style and what he was seeing I have done, and those were the most valuable to my growth tips.

Then I met Barbara Silva and she helped me get to the next level, bringing a whole different perspective on the science of communication with others.

I went through Barbara’s Coaching Cognition course (that teaches people how to be a good coach) who thought me how to be a better listener, and when it is right to speak, how to give good feedback without hurting people’s feelings and how to express ideas while at the same time helping others feel important too.

Until then I was just vaguely realizing the importance of these things. But then Barbara shed some very bright light and made me realize that these are not only skills and embodiments of a good coach but anybody who wants to be able to influence people, whether as a business owner or just as a human being anywhere in life.

And so, after a brief evaluation of the progress I had made in the last 3 years from the time I had come to this country with broken English and no confidence and looking back into what I feel has really contributed to it I went ahead and answered my prospect’s questions.

I feel that anyone who is looking to improve their communication skills, which should be anyone who is looking to create success in business and in life, has to be seeking out one on one help from a coach, or to go through a course that teaches them how to be a coach.

This question could not have come in at a better time since people will be soon able to enroll at Coaching Cognition with Barbara Silva which – the training for coaches and the platform that allows people to hire a coach on any topic.

The training is six-month course and totally teaches you how to be a coach. And in the most fundamental level of being a good coach is learning communication skills.

For more information on this stay plugged in and keep an eye on your email box of when Coaching Cognition opens it’s doors. Or also, contact support@marketingmerge.com with subject Hire a Coach if you would like to learn more about this.

Partners in Progress,
DiDi Alcheva

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Comments (26)

26 Comments »

Hi DiDi What a great article – beautifully written. Your story is an inspiration to us all. Not only have you developed outstanding communication skills, you have also become a fine teacher, who never fails to show your appreciation to your mentor, Mike. Brilliant!

Comment by kisane — October 29, 2009 @ 7:39 pm
HI DiDi!
Thanks for a great article. I think I discovered one of my main obstacles. I am looking forward to hear more from you and all the other mentors.

Comment by Fanie Barnard — November 1, 2009 @ 5:06 am
I thought it hit the nail on the head!This is Day 2 for me in Pro and I’m excited to know this one-on-one coaching is available.

Comment by bryan aucremanne — November 1, 2009 @ 5:41 am
Hey Didi, great writing, very inspirational. All of us in one way or another have experienced moment of insecurity when communicating our ideas.

Yes, reading books and listining to inspirational cds
is second to none when it comes to improving your
communication wheater verbal or written.

Didi, thanks for giving us all the motivation and the push to continue pushing ourselves to become better leaders. Many blessings and please keep the good work coming…excellent article!!.

Comment by FJ Ortega — November 1, 2009 @ 5:58 am
Didi, I commend you on how far you have come with your communication, particularly in a language that is not your primary one.

“The training is six-month course and totally teaches you how to be a coach”

I’d like to talk about that sentence. The Coaching Cognition Program is an excellent introduction to being a coach. The first step is really understanding and then honing in on what constitutes good communication skills, and then practicing those skills over and over again. The course will teach this and thus sets someone on a wonderful path.

In the field of professional coaching, be it life coaching, business coaching or those who use a coaching modality in their clinical (psychotherapy) practices–the training is more in depth and intense than can be found in a six month course. I feel it’s important that people be aware of this.

There are many areas where the enhanced active listening and reflective skills that one learns in the initial stages of becoming a coach, are perfect for the situation and just what is needed. As a 20 year professional in the field, I am concerned about people coming out of a six month program and thinking that they “totally know how to be coach”. In my mind that sets up a false expectation in their own minds as well as those of their clients. Becoming a skilled coach takes time and practice under excellent supervision. Knowing how to recognize the nuances in a person’s situation and also how to respond to situations that fall outside of the basics, are gleaned from ongoing education and experience.

It’s also crucial to point out that every person has the ability to improve their communication skills, just like Didi. Yet not every person has the is cut out to be professional coach. By all means, the Coaching Cognition Program can help anyone who wants to grow in this area. At the same time, people need to search within themselves as the course progresses, to determine if these are skills they just want to incorporate into their current relationships and situations, or if indeed they are suited and interested in doing what is necessary to assume the designation of “coach”.

I totally agree with Didi about how crucial excellent communication skills are for business success. I believe that the Coaching Cognition Program will help anyone enhance these skills and thus enable them to proceed more easily in their business interactions.

Peace and Abundance,
Deborah Tutnauer, LCSW

Comment by Deborah Tutnauer, LCSW — November 1, 2009 @ 9:11 am
Hi Didi,

You are a perfect example of how with the right attittude and a personal coach you can develop your communciation skills. The level you have reached in only 3 short years is an inspiration to us all.

Comment by Judith Atkinson — November 1, 2009 @ 9:26 am
Hey, DiDi A.
Just wanted to comment on the great job that you did with this article it very informative and provides information on a topic that a lot of us may not may not have given very much thought about. But this topic is essential in being successful not only in business but in many other areas in life. I want to add that I will benefit greatly from reading this suberb article. Thanks, Peter L.

Comment by Peter Lockett — November 1, 2009 @ 9:26 am
Hey Didi

Your link to Barbara’s course leads back to this page. Time to fix it.

Rgds
Phil.

Comment by Phil Wong — November 1, 2009 @ 9:27 am
Communication skills are important for anything you do in life. Everything from personal relationships to business decisions and customer retention. People with poor communication skills find themselves unemployed, and dissatisfied with life in general. I think everybody can benefit from improved communication skills.

Comment by Dotty — November 1, 2009 @ 9:51 am
Hello DiDi, We all have so much to learn from each other, and the first thing is how to communicate. I learn so much from you and Mike. Thanks.

Comment by Becky Johnson — November 1, 2009 @ 10:24 am
Hi DiDi, You walk the talk in your article. Thanks for pointing out how coaching ups the level of how you are being with yourself, with prospects and with patners and clients. Acknowledgement is sure a key skill in that. Great! Thanks Gertraud

Comment by Gertraud — November 1, 2009 @ 11:30 am
Thanks so much, Didi. Your message resonated loud and clear with me, and really got me excited all over again, anticipating being involved with the Coaching Cognition Course, as well. Thank you for the inspiration!

Comment by Susan — November 1, 2009 @ 11:34 am
Hi DiDi
Thank you for sharing and your wonderful article is truly inspiring.

I really enjoyed reading your article and you have a wonderful way of writing. You are a true inspiriation to many people.
Thank you.

Comment by Rosemary Leach — November 1, 2009 @ 12:13 pm
i need help in communication skill.i have a great website and products,but i lack on how to express it in writing and verbal.please help.Thank you.

Comment by igor lassegue — November 1, 2009 @ 2:22 pm
Didi:

This article hits a lot of important areas about communication. Yes, I agree with where you are today compared to three years ago. You are a leader because you teach others by your own experience. Your confidence level has expounded from the very first conference call you conducted three years ago. You are living proof of personal development and putting into practice what you have learned a long the way. I am looking forward to helping out and participating in coaching cognition. This course will be a good investment.

Keep going keep grownig!
Lanette

Comment by Lanette Passarelli — November 1, 2009 @ 4:57 pm
Thanks Didi. I also realized the importance of having strong communication skills some time ago and it led me also to reading books, listening to audios, watching videos, etc..

During that time I came to realize that just by being exposed to these great communicators I was beginning to change slowly.

One of those mentors pointed out that we become a “composite” person of the five people we associate with the most over five years.

If you want to improve your communication skills, make more money, become more effective at what you do then you need to associate yourself with people who DO IT BETTER!

Comment by Net-Traffic-Pro.com — November 1, 2009 @ 5:46 pm
Yes, Didi, I can appreciate where you are coming from. English is also a second language for me, having been born a French Canadian.
However, I did have the opportunity to learn English while growing up. But I still search for words at times.

That’s why I am really looking forward to Coaching Cognition to help fine tune my communication skills as well as introduce me to new skills that any online network marketer should possess for continued success.

Comment by Marie Leonard — November 1, 2009 @ 7:13 pm
Thanks @Kisane, @Fanie, @FJOrtega!

Welcome to Renegade Professional, @Bryan. Rpro is jammed pack with all the info and lessons you will ever need to succeed online with any kind of business…But it’s sure great to know that there are a ton of people just waiting for you to ask for their help and they’ll jump right into it.

@Deborah Thank you for the extensive well written comment. I totally agree with you that developing skills is a process and that it’s not guaranteed that after a 6 month course even if this is Barbara’s excellent Coaching Cognition course, that you will be good and ready to go and be a coach. It entirely depends on the individual and whether they are cut for it or not. The good thing is that this can be easily recognized once you start going through the course, start learning and start asking yourself the right questions. “is this something I want to improve because I am attracted to helping people by starting my own professional coaching career? or Is this something I want to continue learning and excelling at because I know that it is going to be helpful in my life no matter where I go or what I decide to do?”

Thanks @Judith and yes having the right attitude is so important. If anyone thinks that they can move forward in a positive direction and see positive changes in their life by being always grumpy, pessimistic and negative than they really need to consider spending a good amount of time one on one with an experienced coach. They will have to change their attitude or the only direction they will be going in life is downhill.

Thanks @Peter!

Hey @Phil, yeah you are right, I just tried it and it takes us back to this page, but that was the intention.
This entire page, which is much longer than this article and the comments to it, is dedicated to Coaching, Coaching Cognition and Barbara Silva and anything related to improving your skills and embodying coaching skills. So the goal was to lead back to this page…But it is confusing right now becuase you are seeing the same article you were seeing when you landed on the page.It will be different when we add a new article. For now you can feel free to scroll down and browse through everything else that Barbara has posted related to Coaching and ignoring the link.

Comment by didi — November 1, 2009 @ 8:04 pm
Thanks for the comment @Dotty. I think you are absolutely right. I never thought about the employment issues that people with poor communication skills must be facing, but it just makes sense.

@Becky, @Gertraud and @Rosemary thank you for the comments.

@Susan it’s coming real soon in the next few days. Our entire team is very excited about this amazing course. Barbara is such a talented person and such a great coach and we are excited to start hearing about all the success stories that will be coming out of the students of Coaching Cognition. I was a part of the first graduates but I will most definitely be going through the course once again. It was just that good and I am definitely not going to miss it.

@Igor You’ve come to the right place. If you are not enrolled at Renegade Professional yet, that would be your first step. You can just click on the banner that says Renegade Professional here on this blog at the right hand side navigation bar. Then email support@marketingmerge.com and they will be able to point you in the right direction and you can decide what would be your best next step – whether you want to hire a one on one coach, or go through the Coaching Cognition course or maybe something entirely different.

Thanks @Lanette for your kind words. It means a lot to me coming from someone I love and respect and someone who knows me from the beginning of my entrepreneurial career. You are absolutely right that Coaching Cognition will be a good investment.

Very well said: ) @IAmNoTSureWhoYouAre @Net-traffic-pro But yes indeed being surrounded by people who already excel or are better than you at what you want to excel is a big one. That could be your coach or it could be other entrepreneurs you decide to associate with on a daily basis. I have heard something similar to what you said from Ellie Drake who says that your income in the next 5 years is going to be the average of the income of your 5 closest friends…so choose your friends wisely…

Btw, I couldn’t find who you are even after going to your blog…A quick tip not that you’ve asked but it would be to add an About me page.

Btw, Ellie Drake will be speaking this Thursday on a special conference call just for you guys and gals, the renegade community, about Good Coaching Skills. Pretty awesome, huh? I just talked to her tonight and she was very stoke about it and committed for this special call on Thursday. Keep an eye on your email boxes for the details of the call.

Partners in Progress,
DiDi Alcheva

Comment by didi — November 1, 2009 @ 8:28 pm
Thanks Didi!

What a great article. The challenge you must have faced…I live in the south with a deep southern accent. It has increasingly become a challenge for me as I step up into a role of leadership. Of course no one complains but I know that I need to have a coach because it is a problem for me.

It must have be great to have a personal mentor like Mike. Everyone at Renpro are really awesome. I am really excited about Barbara’s coaching Cognition classes. Thanks for reminding me how much I need to be there.

Be Blessed,
Sherry

Comment by Sherry Prince — November 1, 2009 @ 9:07 pm
Didi,

What a great article. You really show the importance of communication, when it comes to over coming obstacles. You give us your story. What a great way to communicate to the audience…

Thanks For Sharing,
Donna Wells

Comment by Donna Wells — November 2, 2009 @ 8:23 pm
Didi,
I say “absolutely” in response to each of the acknowledgments and kudos in this comment section.

What I know and watched, when we worked together (a tiny bit:-) ) three years ago was a commitment to the process. Whatever Mike, your personal coach asked of you, you did it whether it was comfortable or not.

You are transparent, you own your success. What you accomplished in this short time is because you kept searching for better ways to market on the Internet when what you were doing was not working as well as you wanted it to.

You keep yourself completely open to the coaching process, absorbing all you can even yet from various sources.

I attended several of Ellie’s events, spent some one on one time with her three years ago. I look forward to hearing her again Thursday. She is a woman of profound intuitive ability.

Comment by Pat Campbell — November 3, 2009 @ 8:47 pm
I am inspired by your determination, Didi, and all you have done to verbally and communicate in write on the internet in such a short time with such success. I agree that communication is a key to developing our business and personal lives and coaching can help give us a stronger skills, whether we take a business course or college course.
Kathy

Comment by Kathy Beaman — November 3, 2009 @ 11:04 pm
Hi Didi,I love that! The more you rrained communication skills, the more people listened to what you say and offer. So being in the other people´s world, getting what they really needed instead of staring at the figures – I could say having a clear intention and loving people while yourself being supported by great people made you so successful. Great that we have you now, too! Gertraud

Comment by Gertraud Wegst — November 7, 2009 @ 3:01 pm
I am obviously doing something wrong when I talk to people. After the initial contact there are usually 2 or 3 contacts and then, despite my best efforts, I can not seem to get in contact again.
I have been told in the past that my approach comes across as blunt and aggressive, this is not intended, in fact it used to upset me that people thought I came across that way.
I freely admit that I am not a chatty person, I like to call a spade a spade, I have always had difficulty in social situations and I tend to say what I think rather than what the listener wants to hear.
I hope I can learn how to communicate better with others as I am certain that I could do a lot better with appropriate guidance

Comment by Dennis — November 8, 2009 @ 4:25 pm
Thanks Didi. I have always been interested in the power of communication, but also realize that we learn to communicate through the example of those we mix with – family, friends, work mates. Unless they are very skilled, and aiming to achieve what we want to achieve, we are unlikely to be very good.

By exposing ourselves to the effective language through books, courses, and forming relationships with effective communicators allows us to become familiar with new techniques. I am definitely panning to complete the coaching cognition course.

Comment by Mary Speller — November 10, 2009 @ 3:12 pm